Published Articles


THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE

by Wayne Anthony Ross

 

It seems such a long time ago

That my family and I decided to go

From Alaska,

To the City of Brotherly Love.

We packed the car and off we went.

Drove all the way 'cross the continent,

To the City of Brotherly Love.

We got there Thursday afternoon,

But couldn't find any breathing room,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

The buildings were tall, blocking out the sky.

They look damn near three silos high,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

We finally pulled up to the hotel's side door,

Only to be met by the bellman's roar

In the City of Brotherly Love.

"You must unload at the front door, " he said.

I wondered why, I scratched my head. I don't understand,

The City of Brotherly Love.

We returned to the car and drove for days,

Through Philly's streets, a confused maze

In the City of Brotherly Love.

We finally found the hotel's front.

To find a porter was another stunt,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

An Alaskan's money just won't last!

I saw my wallet dwindling fast,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

Seven-Fifty a day, they bill

To park my car; a bitter pill

From the City of Brotherly Love.

Thereafter to the front desk we went

To register and pay our rent, for our room

In the City of Brotherly Love.

After standing in line half the afternoon,

We finally were assigned our room,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

We ordered up a bucket of ice,

to have a drink, (that would be nice);

A drink,

To the City of Brotherly Love.

In Alaska all the ice is free.

It's over four bucks a bucket in Philly!

This City of Brotherly Love.

"Next time order your ice in the morning!"

Our bellboy said with a stern warning,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

"Demand for ice exceeds capacity!

You're not at home, but in the big city!"

The City of Brotherly Love.

On Sunday morning, to church I went.

I asked directions of local gent,

Of the City of Brotherly Love.

"Don't go that way, and this way, Beware!

There's often muggers in the alley there,

In the City of Brotherly Love."

I followed his directions to a T,

And wished I had my .45 with me,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

While returning to the hotel,

through city squalor,

Two separate panhandlers,

asked me for a dollar,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

One night, I took the bride out to eat.

Alaska hungry, I wanted meat,

served,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

I ordered prime rib from the menu's fare

And requested it juicy, tender, and rare,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

An hour later, the waiter came back.

"Order something else; prime rib we lack!"

In the City of Brotherly Love.

While I really wanted his neck to break,

I settled on a filet steak,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

My $16 steak was kinda small.

It dented my hunger not at all,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

My wife had ordered spinach salad.

The waiter returned, his color pallid.

In the City of Brotherly Love.

"We're out of spinach salad too!"

I wondered if I was in Timbuktu,

Instead of

The City of Brotherly Love.

We changed her order and finally ate.

I wondered if I was starting to hate

The City of Brotherly Love.

We paid the bill and later uttered damns,

When we found we'd been overcharged 20 "clams",

In the City of Brotherly Love.

Now I've been in a lot of places,

Under various circumstances with many races,

Different than

The City of Brotherly Love.

And there's no place more from which I was glad to go,

Than Philly, before it got all my dough...

The City of Brotherly Love.

You can't wear a revolver on the street.

If you tried it, I'm sure a cop you'd meet.

And yet there's a lot of those who cheat,

In the City of Brotherly Love.

I didn't see a moose in an entire day.

It seems all I did there was pay and pay.

I sure was glad when I was on my way,

From the City of Brotherly Love.

And tho I'm gone, I have one regret,

Aside from the prime rib I never et,

And that is that I still haven't met

Brotherly Love in the City of Brotherly Love.


Attorneys | Support Staff | Legal Services | Forms | Contact Us | Published Articles | Links

Copyright 2008© Ross & Miner, Anchorage, Alaska All Rights Reserved                                       Site Design by Alaska Web Designs, LLC