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THE CITY
OF BROTHERLY LOVE
by Wayne
Anthony Ross
It seems such a long time
ago
That my family and I decided
to go
From Alaska,
To the City of Brotherly
Love.
We packed the car and off
we went.
Drove all the way 'cross
the continent,
To the City of Brotherly
Love.
We got there Thursday afternoon,
But couldn't find any breathing
room,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
The buildings were tall,
blocking out the sky.
They look damn near three
silos high,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
We finally pulled up to
the hotel's side door,
Only to be met by the bellman's
roar
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
"You must unload at the
front door, " he said.
I wondered why, I scratched
my head. I don't understand,
The City of Brotherly Love.
We returned to the car
and drove for days,
Through Philly's streets,
a confused maze
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
We finally found the hotel's
front.
To find a porter was another
stunt,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
An Alaskan's money just
won't last!
I saw my wallet dwindling
fast,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
Seven-Fifty a day, they
bill
To park my car; a bitter
pill
From the City of Brotherly
Love.
Thereafter to the front
desk we went
To register and pay our
rent, for our room
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
After standing in line
half the afternoon,
We finally were assigned
our room,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
We ordered up a bucket
of ice,
to have a drink, (that
would be nice);
A drink,
To the City of Brotherly
Love.
In Alaska all the ice is
free.
It's over four bucks a
bucket in Philly!
This City of Brotherly
Love.
"Next time order your ice
in the morning!"
Our bellboy said with
a stern warning,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
"Demand for ice exceeds
capacity!
You're not at home, but
in the big city!"
The City of Brotherly Love.
On Sunday morning, to church
I went.
I asked directions of local
gent,
Of the City of Brotherly
Love.
"Don't go that way, and
this way, Beware!
There's often muggers in
the alley there,
In the City of Brotherly
Love."
I followed his directions
to a T,
And wished I had my .45
with me,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
While returning to the
hotel,
through city squalor,
Two separate panhandlers,
asked me for a dollar,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
One night, I took the bride
out to eat.
Alaska hungry, I wanted
meat,
served,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
I ordered prime rib from
the menu's fare
And requested it juicy,
tender, and rare,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
An hour later, the waiter
came back.
"Order something else;
prime rib we lack!"
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
While I really wanted his
neck to break,
I settled on a filet steak,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
My $16 steak was kinda
small.
It dented my hunger not
at all,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
My wife had ordered spinach
salad.
The waiter returned, his
color pallid.
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
"We're out of spinach salad
too!"
I wondered if I was in
Timbuktu,
Instead of
The City of Brotherly Love.
We changed her order and
finally ate.
I wondered if I was starting
to hate
The City of Brotherly Love.
We paid the bill and later
uttered damns,
When we found we'd been
overcharged 20 "clams",
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
Now I've been in a lot
of places,
Under various circumstances
with many races,
Different than
The City of Brotherly Love.
And there's no place more
from which I was glad to go,
Than Philly, before it
got all my dough...
The City of Brotherly Love.
You can't wear a revolver
on the street.
If you tried it, I'm sure
a cop you'd meet.
And yet there's a lot of
those who cheat,
In the City of Brotherly
Love.
I didn't see a moose in
an entire day.
It seems all I did there
was pay and pay.
I sure was glad when I
was on my way,
From the City of Brotherly
Love.
And tho I'm gone, I have
one regret,
Aside from the prime rib
I never et,
And that is that I still
haven't met
Brotherly Love in the City
of Brotherly Love.
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